These are the traditional pillars on which the NLP rests:
No matter how Neurolinguistic Programming continues to grow and expand, there are principles at the core of NLP that are timeless, and reliable in interactions with yourself and others. These principles should be remembered while exploring any and all areas of NLP.
- NLP Skillset (practice, practice, practice!)
- NLP Presuppositions (don't ask why!)
- Rapport (walk a mile in another's shoes)
- Outcome Orientation (keep the end in mind!)
- Feedback (watch the person in front of you!)
- Behavioral Flexibility (keep trying until successful!)
As we travel through life and learn more and more aspects of Neurolinguistic Programming, and its application, we find ourselves circling around these pillars or again and again. Yet each time these principles are revisited there is a greater understanding of and facility with them. In other words, the mind that contemplates these principles the third time is not the same mind that is hearing them for the first time. It is transformed and neurologically rewired.
Let's examine each of these pillars a little more deeply now:
NLP Skillset
NLP skillset is more than just knowledge of NLP techniques, it is the mastery of the techniques in response to a human need in real time. Mastery in any endeavor is a 10,000 hour commitment. This is true of learning to fly, learning to master an instrument, competitive sports and NLP.
There are many NLP trainings available on the market. We do not endorse any of them specifically, but we do recommend that before you spend a great deal of time and money, you ask questions about the training to see if their guiding principles and philosophies mirror your own.
NLP Presuppositions
The role of a coach or a teacher is to SAVE TIME. NLP presuppositions do just that. Without needing to know why to begin with, NLP presuppositions allow a new practitioner to take their first steps until the understanding of why distills upon them. We will speak more on these presuppositions specifically in the next page.
Rapport
Rapport came to NLP through the field of hypnotherapy. The word Rapport comes from a French word Rapporter, which means to bring back. The word is related to report, in the context of "the report of the rifle was heard after the shot was fired". It is an echo, or a synchronicity or resonance between two or more human beings in real time. In NLP, we think of rapport as being essential in relating to oneself. Richard Bandler qualifies this with you also have to know what you are doing. Behaving like the other person does not always mean you can help them. Sometimes, you need to be able to take over a situation.
Outcome
In well-done NLP, we ALWAYS begin change work with a clear outcome in mind. This includes large outcomes, and often small ones. Napolean Hill called this "Definiteness of Purpose". Stephen Covey preaches to "start with the end in mind". In fact, I suggest that before you read any further, you have an outcome in mind for what this reading will give you. Reading any material with a specific outcome in mind radically alters what you will remember.
Feedback
NLP promotes the ongoing development of sensory acuity, or simply noticing what is going on within yourself and others, so that in real time we can determine whether we are getting closer to or further away from a desired outcome.
Paying attention to what is going on in yourself and others is often referred to as calibrating. This simply means looking for verbal or physiological cues to determine wether you are moving closer to or further from your desired outcome.
Behavioral Flexibility
Once you know what you want, if what you are doing is not working, stop and try something else until you find what works. Richard Bandler embodied this attitude very well, and left a wake of techniques as a result.
In cybernetics, Asby's Law of Requisite Variety says that in order to maintain stability within any system, the controller of that system must have more variety of responses than all the combined variables the system can throw at it. In NLP, this means that the coach or therapist should strive to have more variety of responses than the person being coached or treated. Metaphorically, one could say that to save another in a flood, one ought first to be standing on higher ground.
In real life, you've probably seen a screaming child at the store, and come to either pity or admire the parent's response as the situation was dealt with. The one with the most options wins.
Exercise
Take a few minutes to evaluate each of these pillars in your own life. Are there times when you have been able to use them to your advantage? Are there times when things went badly when they might have come to your aid? Jot down suggestions for future improvements.
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